Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Missing Grandma.

Connor and Grandma Tracy at Christmas 2010
 Grandma Tracy's last visit to SD May 2011
Me with my beautiful Mama, May 2011
The Whole Fam, December 2010
I have millions of pictures, which I am so very thankful and I have thousands of words I could say, but I have no clue where I would ever begin.
My mom. It is so upsetting we lost her so suddenly. She is such a wonderful woman, a mother and a grandma that will be missed a lot. She was a lover of all, found the good in everything and everyone. She had a heart of gold and shared it with everyone, willing to be there for you whenever you needed. She was a MOM, the best mom. I could write for hours telling you everything she taught me. That was her life and she was so good at it. The thing I will remember the most and pray will become apart of me, is to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, like she did to me and everyone. Really, I don't think anyone on this Earth knows unconditional love like my mom did. She was an AMAZING Grandma. She knew my kids, so well, and helped me with advice almost daily on raising them and LOVED them with all her heart.
This month has been hard, very hard. My house has been full of many emotions, lots of talking about my mom and looking through hundreds of beautiful pictures of her. Everyone always said I look so much like my mom, I never thought so much, but looking at her when she was young, the early years of being a mom we look a lot alike and it feels so good. I am happy to resemble apart of her. She will remain in my heart forever. And I will forever strive to be a mom like her!
One of my favorite things right now, is witnessing Connor's love for his Grandma. He misses her, a lot. He talks to her daily, waving up to the sky to tell her hi and that he loves her. He often tells her how he is going to come visit her in heaven, by airplane, a really tall latter and some rope. He has worn a sticker on his heart, for the past few days, informing me that Grandma will always be in his heart. What a sweet love he has for Grandma and I pray his memories of her will last a lifetime. Taylor smiles big, getting so excited, pointing at Grandma in pictures. 
I am sure I will find ways to write more about her in the future. She was the reason why I started this blog. She loved this blog so much, commented on every single post, and would worry when I did not post for a while. We talked everyday, if I did not have a reason why I needed to call, I just called to tell her I loved her. She will be missed forever!



7 comments:

The Paskins said...

Ashley, I just read your blog post and learned about your mom. My heart is hurting for you - my mom is also the best grandma in the world and I don't know what I would do without her. I know you'll cherish the amazing memories you have with her, and I hope your healing is full happy memories. Hugs to you and your family!

Sarah

Donelle Anderson said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Ashley! I can only imagine the emotions going on. You're Mom will be missed, she was a very sweet woman! Always great with your kids and a friendly face to talk to! Lots of hugs!

(Nicole) The Very Hungry Caterpillar said...

Ashley I had no idea about your mom. how horrible I cannot even imagine. seeing Connor miss her would break my heart. my thoughts and prayers are with you during this sad time.

The Izzard Family Blog said...

this was really touching, ashley. i cried all the way through. you are in our prayers. xoxo

Beck said...

Ash...what a beautiful mother you have had and what a beautiful mother you are. Tell Connor I would like to climb up that tall ladder with him to give Tracy a huge hug. Lots of love to you xo

yo said...

Dear Ashley: I was so sad to hear about your mother. I know Susan was very sad too. I lost my mother over five years ago and it is a very hard even now. No one loves your children like their grandmother. I only met her at the wedding, but I have a lot of fun memories. That was a really fun time. Take care, Lori Waters.

The Brewsters said...

Your strength amazes me. You are spectacular woman and your mom is so proud of you. I could see it every time she looked at you. Great post :) Love you